i am human and i need to be loved.

rant?

all i do on tumblr now is rant about my problematic shit that nobody seems to care about.

right now im feeling really strange, the only thing in my mind is the kind of ‘what is the point?’ think, like seriously what is the point in anything? we go day to day doing nothing significant, working and paying shit with random aspects of ‘entertainment’ in the middle, and then for a few seconds i will just feel so surreal, ive never felt like this before, i just feel like unearthed for a few seconds, like out of my own body, i don’t feel like an average person anymore, people talk to me and i dont really take in what they’re saying, i talk to people and nobody understands what im talking about, nobody gets it.

i seriously think im losing my mind, something is so wrong with me at the moment, i cant seem to understand anything, i cant grasp the concept of life or of anything, or the point in it. i cant even seem to just enjoy it and not think about it. its the only thing on my mind and i dont even want to be around my own thoughts.

the other day i sat there and had this severe urge to hurt myself, like stab myself or something just to know that i was still alive, still able to feel things, pain.

and if this wasnt all enough, recently i have been having really strange dreams about cats following me, which is strange because i dont have a cat, i dont like cats and i have nothing to do with cats. but they follow me in these dreams and its scary. so i googled it and apparantly im heading into a spiralling depression and i want freedom / to feel individuallity.

and i dont normally believe all this dreamy bullshit but it seems really relevant at the minute, so idk. anyone who has any opinions on anything ive just posted, id like to know.

4 notes | 3 months ago